Updated: Aug 5, 2019
If you have found yourself saying...
I should be better by now, so what is wrong with me?
Why is this taking so long?
I’ll give it 1 year.
I’ll start getting better soon.
Time will help.
It’ll get better over time
This type of thing takes time.
I’m sorry to say that you have been lead down the false belief that time heals. The belief that “time heals” is the most common trap my clients fall into because time does not heal. It never has and it never will. Time in and of itself has never healed a broken heart, in fact, time in and of itself will not heals anything at all. So if time does not heal, now what? What does heal?
Time Does Not Heal - Healing Actions Heal
Healing Actions are what help you heal and this is the case with everything that requires healing. Taking the right Healing Actions is your access to healing; which of course inevitably takes a measurement of time. Whether it is the healing action of elevating, icing and rehabilitating a sprained ankle; or the healing action of deep self-care, new mindset tools and new long-term healing actions for a broken heart. Your lasting results are dependant on what actions you take or avoid taking.
The solution to any long-term healing is learning to take the correct actions that support you through your recovery. Unfortunately, you may not know what these are. You may have taken it for granted that you will one day figure this out, and that you would eventually know how to grief and move through your heartbreak, but yet, here you are, all that you have done hasn't worked and you are feeling more stuck than ever. It is similar to if you experience a sprain. You may not know how to heal it on your own, so you go to an expert; perhaps a physiotherapist and she will take the appropriate actions and teach you stretches and exercises to help you heal faster providing long-term health benefits. Choosing the right professional support you can make all the difference.
There is one thing I know about you. I know that you are now taking some healing actions on your own. You are ready and want to move forward. You are not simply waiting anymore. Please acknowledge yourself for this. Just by reading this article you have a new understanding around healing and you can now begin taking some new actions.
Try to imagine what it would be like if you were not stopped or governed by some arbitrary condition of time? How would that be for you? You deserve to heal and stop suffering and you can begin this right away.
Your healing journey begins with you. In any separation or divorce, one of two things will aways happen. Firstly you can never remain the same (unchanged or untouched). In the very moment that the separation happened you changed, your life changed in that instance. Staying the same is an impossible choice. So now you have 2 real choices. The first option is, to rise up; you can grow, expand and heal; becoming perhaps a more empowered, happier, more peaceful version of yourself or the second option is to decline or become smaller, sadder and a more hopeless version of yourself. Either of these two choices are viable choices. So the questions become ...What one do you choose? Where will you put your energy?