3 Crucial Tips on How to Get Through Halloween if You are Newly Separated.

Updated: Aug 5, 2019


It's Halloween morning, and it has hit you, you are alone, and Halloween will never be the same again. You miss seeing the excitement of Halloween on your children's faces, dressing them up in their costumes and making plans for trick or treating. Once again you are reminded of how much things have changed, and it hurts. Your mind is going wild. You can't seem to shake the memories and the fear of moving on. How can you move on and be happy? How will you ever feel in control of your life again?


3 Tips on How to Get Through Halloween

1) STOP the Doomsday Thinking It is essential that you find the personal power within you to stop the victim conversation. The victim conversation is that negative doomsday internal dialogue that is saying things like... It was so good when... it's not fair...I'm all alone... I hate my life... They are having Halloween without me etc. Does any of this sound familiar? Hearing the word victim and having someone challenge you and suggesting that you might be being a victim can cause a reaction and I can appreciate that this is not a feel-good word in the very least. No one wants to believe or think they are a victim; or at least you don't want to feel like one. But, your thoughts are saying something different. Your thoughts are cruel they are your biggest enemy, and it is all too easy to go down that all too familiar internal doomsday rabbit hold conversation. You know it all too well; you are wishing it was different and hating your life today. If you choose to do this, and yes I said choose, you will stay stuck and suffer for way too long. The challenge is, how do you decide and make a choice not to do this? How do you change the way that you are talking to yourself? It starts with, first realizing and owning that yes you are doing this; and to then have a new commitment not to feel sorry for yourself. In essence, you must stop tolerating talking to yourself like this. This takes something. It is not easy, yet it is 100% possible. But most importantly is, it is imperative that you do this. You may require some extra support, and that's okay. Changing your destructive thoughts patterns does not happen overnight, but you can start today, right now! To be successful in the long-term takes practice, and it's well worth it!

2) A New Ritual It's time to create a new ritual for yourself and your family this Halloween, and it's never too late to start. Creating a new way that you celebrate Halloween is crucial; otherwise, you will continue hating the very holiday that you once loved so much. Your marriage is over, and it is harder than you could ever have imagined. And it is still time that you start creating new rituals for yourself and your children. You have a new life now, and you can choose how this life will be. This is both good news and bad news. You are at the helm of your life. You can do it two ways… stay stuck in the doomsday thinking or get into action and start creating new rituals. Halloween is your holiday, begin to Include all the things you love about it, do not run and hide. Halloween is your fun, creative expression; and something you have always loved and you deserve to continue loving it. If you could choose, exactly how your life is and exactly how your life is not, in this exact moment, how could you make this Halloween the best possible Halloween day ever? What can you do? What actions can you take?

3) Community - Get Others on Board and Get in Action! Right now it is essential that you get in action, it's not too late! How do you want your perfect new ritual to look? Who do you need to get onboard with you? Who do you need to call? Is it time to make some last minute arrangements with your Ex. Right now it is time to get others on board, start planning something immediately if you haven't already. Taking the actions to honour you and support what you love is all part of self-care and being authentic to you.

New Actions and Ritual Ideas...

  • Dress up in costume

  • Call your ex, arrange to see your kids

  • Take the kids trick or treating

  • Go out dancing with friends

  • Dress-up and give candy out to the local kids

  • Have a dinner party

  • Meet your kids for lunch

  • Decorate your house

  • Take advantage of the Halloween Day sales

  • Make treats for your kids to give to their classmates

  • Carve a pumpkin

  • Listen to Halloween Music

  • Dress up your pet

  • Stay home and watch scary movies alone or with a friend

The most important thing to remember is Halloween is one of your favourite holidays - So reclaim it!

#divorce #separation #halloween #Holidays #children

 Copyright    2019  Duarte Coaching

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bonnie@duartecoaching.com

416.854.0711

1262 Don Mills Rd

North York, ON M3B 2W7