Healing Beyond Grief
A Peek Into My Life...
Each of us, have our own compelling story, and this is a small peek into mine.
I am no stranger to adversity and loss, as I have experienced plenty in my lifetime and I will continue to experience plenty more in the years ahead of me. I now know that to experience loss is completely normal, it's a natural part of life. Given that grief and loss are natural and there is always more to come, I'm so grateful to have acquired the necessary skills for healing.
When I was four years old and my brother was two years old my parents separated, and soon after divorced. The tension and anger between them were thick and it was felt by everyone, particularly my brother and me. As children, we learned very quickly not to speak about one parent to the other. We acted, almost, like the other didn't exist. My parents did all that they could to avoid one another. So my brother and I were right in the middle. Their divorce included years of tug of war; there were court battles and countless "He Said" and "She Said" dialogues. This was very difficult for
My mother raised us under major financial distress and our family moved almost yearly from the time I was 4 years old until I was 12, this meant I was the new kid for almost every year of elementary school. At the age of 9, my father left to go sailing abroad with his wife. This was a very difficult time for me, as I missed him terribly. During this time my mother remarried and within the year divorced. There was huge instability in our family as one could imagine, and many unimaginable things as well. My mother struggled with an undiagnosed mental illness and there as alcoholism and abuse deeply affecting all of us. Towards the end of her second marriage, she was incapable of raising both my brother and I. At 12 years old our father and stepmother returned to Canada to take on the parenting role, but with this came additional struggles, our family and relationships were fragmented and the anger ran deep. It was a long heart-breaking uphill battle.
My father and step-mother divorced when I was 17, following the birth of my sister, which led to me prematurely and permanently moving out and living on my own. As I completed my last year of high school, a moved in with my boyfriend whom I'll be forever grateful for. Shortly thereafter, my mother remarried for the 3rd time to her partner of 8 years, which then also ended in divorce.
I've been at the effect of divorce since I was 4 years old and
I've seen the daunting effect it can have on families
I was then married in 2006, this was the begin of my adult life in the divorce arena because this is when I became a stepmother. This was a defining time, as this was the first time I began to see divorce through the eyes of an adult, Prior to this, divorce was from a more self-centered or juvenile view. As a coach, stepmother and wife, I witnessed how unhealed pain divides families. I became very clear and determined that I wanted to make a difference in how couples divorce and heal.
Through my adult years, I’ve lost friends, I’ve lost jobs, I’ve lost life-changing love relationships. In 2014 I lost my mother and in 2017 I lost my father. What I have learned from all of these situations are the very things that have sculpted into the woman I am today. These experiences have caused me to be compassionate and resilient, but most importantly they have created the opportunity for me to grow, heal and learn about myself.
I’ve always approached life with a particular lightness and ease, loaded with a ton of passion, as many would tell you. I also love having fun, I find myself quite funny, but I've been told, that I shouldn't quit my day job. Today I can look at my life and truly say that I am one of the luckiest people that I know. My happiness is not determined by my past experiences, in fact, my past does not define me at all. I live my life in the moment and by design, I am the author of my life. But this hasn't come overnight. This has come with hard work and the willingness to look at me deeply and challenge myself and my thoughts and perceptions. It's thanks to incredible authors and coaches many of whom I can my friends that have pushed me, supported me, challenged me and loved me. But mostly it's my husband who has always seen my greatness gifts and has gently and sometimes not so gently pushes me to move forward. He always encourages me to be my very best version of myself.
I’ve now been married for over 12 years. We have an amazing 9-year-old son and I have 2 beautiful and talented step-daughters, one currently attending university, and the other recently gratuated. I live in Toronto with my large extended family. I have family in Vancouver, Scotland, and Denmark, including extended family in the Caribbean and the United States. I'm honoured to say that I have dear friends in many parts of the globe.
When I learned how to heal past my loss and suffering, my heartache came to an end. In fact, the surprise was, my most tragic losses were the most beautiful precious opportunities that taught me to be the woman I am today - and for this I'm deeply grateful!
Life is extraordinary and there is so much to live for!
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